eiMaN moNanG yO!

Ahakkkss... Bkn mng besor pun. No. 3 jer. Masuk peraduan mewarna ari nie. X smpt jenguk pun. Xtgk pun gmbo train yg eiman wrnakan tu... Hu5! Btw tahniah dear. X sia2 bngun pgi seawal 530... Haaa...  Tu diaaaaaa! Semangat bkobar2...

uR siGn, deaR?!

ahakssssssss.... u?!

tiPS biNa hBGn KuKUh

12 StePS to StoP YeLLinG aT yoUR KiDs

~ catatan dari http://theorangerhino.com ~ 

Dear Orange Rhinos,

This is my best attempt of summarizing how I stopped yelling at my four boys and stopped feeling the awful guilt, anger, disappointment, sadness, and hopelessness inside every single time I yelled. It isn’t scientific and it isn’t backed up by an advanced degree in childhood behavior, therapy, life coaching or any topic you might think relevant to this subject. What it is, however, is an honest, from the trenches account from a real mom and it is something that YOU can do. I am not going to tell you it was easy. It wasn’t. It was hard. BUT it was DOABLE. And I am not going to tell you it is one, single, concrete thing you can do at the moment you want to yell. It isn’t. It is a process and it takes work. BUT again, it is DOABLE.

Good luck!

The Orange Rhino

Step 1: Acknowledge that you need to change, Decide that you want to change, and fully Commit to changing. I didn’t just casually do these things, I REALLY acknowledged, REALLY decided, REALLY committed. Changing a bad habit is a big job. It required an equally big amount of energy and focus. I gave The Orange Rhino Challenge MY ALL. I took it seriously, I made it a real priority, I believed in it and myself, and I promised myself I was going to do whatever it took to succeed. 

Step 2: Set a Goal. Yes, 365 days straight is a bit severe but it was a clear and inspiring goal, for me.Pick a goal for you that isn’t too vague, isn’t too overwhelming but is also motivational and measurable.Pick a goal that will help you yell LESS and build confidence. Some ideas beyond 365 days: 30 days without yelling, 30 bedtimes without yelling, 1 week without yelling.

Step 3: Share your Goal to Create Accountability. I told my friends and family about my goal in order to make it “real” and not just a casual idea. Yes, it was hard to admit that I yelled too much but I knew it was important to have a group of people to be accountable to and share my progress with.

Step 4:  Create a Support Network. There are four people I wouldn’t have survived this without.

(a) The Pep-Talker: The person you can call when you want to quit who will always tell you not to, that you can do it and that you’re doing great. This is my hubby’s job!

(b) The Texter: The person (people) you can text whenever you feel the urge to yell. Choose people who you know will reply back quickly with a supportive “don’t do it!”

(c) The Children: As in your children. Whenever my boys sense I’m getting ready to yell they say “Orange Rhino!” It works wonders. Wonders.

(d) The Orange Rhino Facebook Community. These are the people who can give you advice, encouragement on bad days, and hooray’s! on good days.  These are the people who will stand by you without judgment, who will remind you that you are not alone and who will inspire you to keep going.

Step 5: Track your Triggers. This is the part no one wants to do, but needs to do! My first 10 days I wrote down on orange post-it notes when I yelled, why I yelled, my mood, my kids mood, time of day etc. Tracking helped me:

(a) Create a mental alarm system that now goes off BEFORE I yell. (ie. Warning! Legos all over floor. You will yell. Prepare yourself for self-control. )

(b) Identify small problems that can easily be fixed and larger problems that can be focused on one at a time (ie. rushing in morning makes me yell, put out breakfast plates at night)

(c) Gain self-awareness that 9 out of 10 times underneath the “triggers” was the real trigger, my mood, and that therefore I needed to focus on my role in the “wanting to yell situation,” not just the kids. (ie. I want to yell because the kids are too loud, but REALLY I’m just tired) and ultimately

(d) Create a preventative measures plan to practice (eat well, exercise, go to sleep earlier, don’t bottle up emotions, etc…)

Step 6: Start practicing slowly. Learning not to yell AT your kids is a big change; take baby steps and know that it takes practice! First, I taught myself to yell AWAY from my kids. I stilled yelled, but not at them, not in their faces. Instead I yelled in closets, toilets, cupboards, cars, boxes, shoes, bags. I yelled anywhere BUT at them. After, I trained myself to turn away AND not say the mean words. I let out yells (ARGH!!!!), animal sounds (Roar!), whistles and whatever else came to my voice.  The key here is repetition and accepting that “I can not always control my kids action, but I CAN always control my reaction.”

Step 7: Keep Practicing! After ten days of feeling silly yelling into the toilet and making animal sounds all day, and realizing that I DID have the self control to not yell at my boys, the desire to yell faded. I turned my energy towards (1) finding and practicing new ways to stay calm, (2) identifying, understanding and alleviating triggers, and (3) owning up to my own mood as the REAL source of the problem. Yes, I kept working at everything until I found my groove.

Step 8: Keep Goal top of mind. I practically decorated the house and myself in orange for a month straight to keep my promise top of mind; and I still do. Serve orange foods, wear orange, post sweet, gentle, “I can’t imagine yelling at that precious” baby pictures in problem areas, do whatever works to keep you focused on your goal.

Step 9: Persevere when you yell. In the beginning I restarted several times. I was discouraged until I started reminding myself that this was a process, that it would take time, and that the upside of yelling was that I learned about a trigger and what response to calm myself didn’t work. I didn’t fail; I just got more data points for how to succeed! Besides, telling myself I failed just made me feel crankier and yell more. So I stopped being so hard on myself, and when I did yell, I forgave myself, apologized to my kids and promised to keep on trying.

Step 10: Celebrate when you succeed. Any moment I didn’t yell was a success, even if I had yelled moments before, and I celebrated those moments with either a fist pump in the air (yes, I did that!) or posting on Facebook. Everyone needs visual positive reinforcement too; my countdown clock on my blog does that for me. Other ideas for you: Make an orange heart on a calendar for every day you don’t yell, put an orange m&m in a jar for every moment you don’t yell, place an orange post it note on the wall near where you didn’t yell. Get creative but praise yourself!

Step 11: Stop Yelling, Start Thinking, Continue Calmly. And yes, despite all of the above, there are still moments where I feel a yell brewing. And then I turn to this mantra. STOP the Yell. (close my mouth, clench my hands, count to 10). START thinking (what’s the trigger, what calms me down, how can I proceed) and continue CALMLY.

Step 12: Remember that know that you are not alone, that I believe in you and that I am here to help you!

soLaT

peCaH juGoK

Cter pecah lagi! Kali nie kmera nikon ler plok. Aduyaaaiiii... Cian nye. Sedey tgk kmera aku nie...

adusssssss....!

reTaK da beRGAnti

Alhmdulillah... Cermin blkg myVi aku kini sudah bganti baru. Nway xde yg percuma lam dunie nie. Duit jugokkkk. Ahakssss... Lari doh bajet bln nie... Btw tokey cermin tu kata cermin retak tu kne ketuk dek somethng... Waahhh! Tergezut mak cam nie... Sape ler yg x suke aku nehhh! Ahakssss

tokey tu kate : "ini cermin kena ketuk maaa...!". alamaaaakkkk... berdegup jntung kte. kejuttttt kte. jgn lar pecah kete kte lagi. xde mnde pun lam kete tu. syiling pun xdop! 

x perenah lagi ngurus cermin kete pecoh gni. nier ler pestime wat sndri. biase ade papa... aduyaaaaiiiiii!

telah berwajah baru! cerohhhhh jer rase...

seKut peLanGi

Nth per ler nama sekut nie. Yg pasti mmg sedap! Abg cd ler nie yg nk promote sekut ank buah nye. X jupe lagi di pasaran nie. X pernah rase lak sblm nie. Tp kire okey ler...

kaRNiVaL puSpaNitA paHANG

@ tmn pertanian, jln bypass nun. nth naper pemilihan tempt pada kali nie x brape kne kan. xtau ler mne AJK dok xpect crowd nk mari join nehhh... 

aku ngn kak tie ngurus senamtari jer. mcm biase ler kan. serasi bekerja sama2 gtu. aku suke jer kalu nk tolong kak tie wat keje2 gni. no hal ler. setakat aku mampu, boley lar layan...! 

 orang kuat PUSPANITA nie... 

geng lama dari PTG masuk treasure hunt tu... caya lar...! semngat tul derang nier...! 

wakil PTG. bukak gerai. ader sokmo bukak booth kalu kne timing. gigih seorang usahawan mude! ("ehhh... x kawen lagi erkkkk....?!")

sempat lagi culik anak dara cilik yang bakal masuk pertndingan pakaian beragam.... mcm cucu fbi da nier pun! 

xMaYa : maJLis peNutUp

Langsung dari royale bintang damansara otel. Yer dop tahu nma otel. Lebey kurang lar. Klu salah plz fill in de blanks wokeyyy!

xMaYa : D-day

Its drill day.... N everibodi kne grill lam kead yg kompem chill! Dem-mit...

bUbUr asYuRa

Jadi idaman ramai org. Ble xde mmg dcari gak nie...

saKit pLok saYam sRg niE

Ibu nandum nie dikesan bngkak kidney ler plok... Aduyaaiiii... Da ler nandum. Hu3! Dugaan sgguh lar yer sayam. Xleh lar plok nk letak gmbo ngn mu cz nko x pakai tdung lak. Nway eza, get well soon. N harap leh dscaj seawal nye. Cpt ler dpt krts kat raub. Cian nk b'ulang dr lepeh hehari kan... Tabah yer geng...

caM cYoMeL jeR

Kete ke? Plet nom nye kah? Adeesss... Dlm mimpi nk dpt no cyomel gni. Ble kah dpt secara kbetulan? Yg pasti aku masih nk terjah 29...

xMaYa : deCLarE dA

Bilik kuarantin spesel... Kah5! En ameer pnye keje ar nie...

teCh haPDaTe @vstaNa otEL

Mcm gathering bdk2 it SUK lak...

xMaYa : staRt poiNt

Nie ler kali pertama aku didedahkan ngn xmaya. Sblm2 nie dgr tas angin jer... He3! Bru nk wat comm check. Debor da rse. Lum lagi hari latih amal nti. Fuhhhh...!

suDa keNa

Itu mkn diaaaa! Nth kali ke brape da nie... Kje duk perangkap tikus ler plok kat opis nehhh. Nth ble nk setel mslh tikus nie nth ler... Mklum ler... Fmly derang nie lagi lame duk nginap kat bngunan nie. Kte seme nie seolah nk dhalau nye plok.

UbaT saKit teKak

Sesudah subuh da dtelannye. Dari mlm td da terasa mcm nk ala2 batuk gtu. Pg nie alhamdulillah dpt telan hok ngelast sekali lam simpanan bonda neh. Kne carik lain ler lps nie wat spare plok utk kat umoh nie. Serasi gtuuuu...

taMaT kuRsuS wiT siJiL

Tamat da kursus 2 ari yg serba ringkas namun sgt bnyk ilmu yg dapat dari sifu ntwrk kami. Pasti nye pgrm seumpama akan diteruskn lagi pada masa2 akan dtg. In syaa Allah. Moga mjlis ilmu sebegini akan terus dberkatiNYA...

Peserta kursus pendek bgambar kenangan ngn sijil n cekgu nyeee.. :-) 

taHLiL @bLoK C

Alhamdulillah... Tgh hari nie wat pgrm tahlil ringkas utk arwah epul @ blok c. Mjlis nie da jd mcm ala2 reunion btm ler plok. Dpt kmpul geng2 lama yg da kuor ke jbtn lain. N plg tharu juga pgrm nie trt kumpulkan para pmbekal it serta geng it lain walau bkn keje direct ngn arwah pun. Bangga sgt. Moga2 pgrm dberkati n mdpt keredhaan Ilahi. AlFatihah... Aminnn!

1raTus suDaa

Eirfan gnp 100 ari suda... Pejam celik pejam celik da 100 ari usia ank mma neh. Moga mnjadi ank soleh dunia akhirat. Sayam kamu ketat2!!!

aYaH

KuRsuS weB

Ari nie n esok... Kursus hpdate web ngn en din, otai yg djmput khas dari PTG. Ahaaakssss!!! Santai2 kursus ari nie. Bnyk mnde nk share dari en din neh...

thaNKs!

jaLiNan kaSih saYanG

• Bayi tersenyum lebih kerap

Percaya atau tidak, menyentuh bayi anda boleh membuatnya tersenyum dengan lebih kerap, yang membuktikan keeratan anda berdua. Sedang bayi anda membesar, anda akan sedar bahawa senyumannya akan menjelma tiap kali anda berada di sampingnya atau setiap kali bayi menjangka kehadiran anda. Senyuman-senyuman ini menandakan bahawa dia berasa selamat dalam dunianya dan sudah bersedia untuk mempelajari tentang dunia yang sebenar kelak nanti.

• Bayi cuba mencapai kepada ibunya

Apabila bayi cuba mencapai kepada si ibu, bayi mungkin cuba memberitahu si ibu untuk memeluk dan membelainya; untuk merapatinya atau si bayi gembira dengan kehadiran ibu.

Apa yang penting, bayi sedang menunjukkan rasa perlunya terhadap ibu, dan ini menandakan hubungan erat antara ibu dan anak. Semasa anak membesar, tindak balas positif anda tiap kali si manja mencapai ke arah anda akan membantu bayi lebih sedar akan pergerakannya dan cara membuat pergerakan yang bermakna.

• Bayi bergelak ketawa

Bayi ketawa untuk menunjukkan perasaannya. Selain menunjukkan rasa teruja dan gembira, gelak pertama bayi menandakan perkembangan sosialnya kerana merupakan suatu tindak balas yang berlaku apabila dia berkongsi dunianya dengan orang tersayang.

Apabila bayi gelak sebagai salah satu cara untuk bertindak balas dengan anda, ia merupakan cara bayi untuk memberitahu betapa seronoknya dia meluangkan masa dengan anda.

Dengan berbunyi-bunyi manja pada waktu kehadiran anda, bayi menunjukkan bahawa mereka mengenali anda, dan sedang berhubung dengan anda. Dalam erti kata lain, bunyi-bunyi tersebut menandakan kegembiraannya dan juga sebagai tindak balasnya bagi kasih sayang, sentuhan dan perhatian yang anda berikan.

• Tatapan mata bayi menjadi lebih lama

Bayi juga menggunakan isyarat mata untuk berhubung. Apabila bayi menatap mata anda, suatu mesej berbaur kasih sayang mengalir antara bayi kepada anda yang meningkatkan kasih sayang antara anda dan si manja.

Pandangan mata yang kemudiannya berkembang menjadi tatapan yang lama, merupakan salah satu kebolehan bayi yang dapat anda sedari. Pada hari-hari awalnya, bayi akan memberi sepenuh perhatian kepada anda, dan lirikan matanya akan mengekori anda apabila anda hampir dengannya.

Melihat muka anda yang telah dia kenal seolah-olah mampu menenangkan si manja. Ada kalanya anda juga mendapati si manja seolah-olah sedang termenung ke arah anda. Ini adalah kerana bayi sedang cuba mengingat muka anda dan mengenal pasti bagaimana rupanya kasih sayang dan keselesaan.

DiEt MaSa NYuSu baDaN

Penyusuan membantu membakar lemak yang terkumpul semasa kehamilan dan digunakan untuk menghasilkan susu. Seorang ibu yang menyusui membakar lebih banyak kalori daripada yang tidak menyusui. Ini bermakna wanita-wanita yang menyusui boleh turun berat setengah kilogram sebulan, hanya kerana penggunaan tenaga yang diperlukan untuk menghasilkan susu.

Adalah baik menunggu 10 bulan sehingga setahun untuk kembali kepada berat pra-kehamilan. Jika mahu mengurangkan sedikit pengambilan makanan, tunggu sehingga sekurang-kurangnya enam minggu selepas kelahiran bayi. Menghadkan pengambilan makanan pada minggu awal laktasi akan mengurangkan bekalan susu. 

peTua maSaKaN

Mencuci Kerang Dengan Mudah

Supaya mudah mencuci kerang, masukkan hampas kelapa bersama kerang didalam besen dan gaulkan bersama sedikit air. Tunggu beberapa ketika dan hasilnya kerang tadi akan bersih dan putih.

Jemput-jemput Sentiasa Lembut

Bancuh adunan jemput-jemput dengan air suam. Kemudian goreng seperti biasa. Hasilnya jemput-jemput anda akan sentiasa lembut, walaupun setelah ianya sejuk.

Menghilangkan Pahit Peria

Untuk menghilangkan pahit peria, cuba potong peria dan rendam didalam air berisi garam halus. Setelah lebih kurang 25 minit, toskan dan sedia untuk dimasak.

Ikan Tidak Melekat Dikuali

Ketika menggoreng ikan, perap ikan bersama asam gelugur. Kemudian goreng asam gelugur hingga hitam diikuti ikan. Hasilnya, ikan tidak melekat lagi.

Tauhu Tidak Melekat Dikuali

Tauhu akan melekat jika digoreng. Taburkan garam halus pada permukaan atas dan bawah tauhu sebelum digoreng. Hasilnya, tauhu tidak melekat lagi.

Membersihkan Perut Lembu

Untuk memutihkan perut lembu, rendam dan gaulkannya dengan bancuhan kapur sirih berserta rincikan daun pisang atau daun lalang. Lakukan beberapa ketika sebelum dibilas dengan air bersih.

Santan Tidak Berbau dan Tahan Lama

Bagi puan yang bekerja atau suri rumah mungkin bermasalah apabila santan diperah terlebih banyak. Untuk memastikan ia tidak berbau dan tahan lama masukkan dua/tiga cili padi kedalam santan dan simpan di dalam peti sejuk, insya-Allah santan tidak berbau dan tahan lama

Segarkan Taugeh

Taugeh akan menjadi segar walaupun berhari-hari sekiranya anda mencampurkan perahan air limau nipis ke dalam air tempat anda merendamkan taugeh. Tetapi pastikan anda menukar airnya setiap hari.

reDHa

Duhai sahabat semua...

taZkiRah juMaaT

Mngkasey kawan2...

'menggunjing' tu ape erkk?!